I see darkness in my dreams.
The darkness hints at a sense of peace just beyond the tips of my outstretched fingers. But it is never truly reachable, like a woman for whom you bare your soul but she refuses to give yours even the slightest of glances. It is a short-lived respite and I welcome its frigid embrace for the quickening moment that I am allowed; for I will soon wake up, and that is never pleasant. This brief moment of darkness–this gentle kiss from the Night Mother–is all I now await; all I now desire; all I now portend.
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When I was a boy, I shared a room with my brother. We lived in a small square house. I’m not kidding, the house was remarkably square from the outside. I’m pretty sure it was the exact same dimensions on each side, but that’s not important.
My room was across the hall from my parents’ room. They were the only two bedrooms in the house. The hall was tiny, about twice as long as it was wide, and had one of those old-timey floor heaters in it–the kind that’s basically just a huge grate in the floor. I still don’t know how those heaters worked, I just know that I used to stretch my legs across it in the morning to get warm in the winter. Our bedroom was at one end, my parents’ at the other, and in-between them was a bathroom. Imagine a small room about one and a half the width of a doorway, and twice as long. That was the hallway. The bedrooms were on the ends, the bathroom in the middle, and the other doorway opened into the living room. The bathroom was the only one in the house.
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I am an old man waiting to die. I’ve lost all desire, all drive, all interest in, well, anything at all. Heh, I don’t seem to do anything but sit here literally waiting to die every single day. The world took pity on me, probably because I’m so old, and stuck me in this place, which is barely better than living on the street. At least I get food every now and then.
Let me tell you my story.
Read more “I Have a Guardian Angel”
A single die lay on the ground at my feet; six-sided, white, and dotted. It was almost unnoticeable in the bright sun of midday amidst the concrete, yet I did take notice, and stopped to pick it up. Upon first touch, time slowed for just a moment, or so it seemed; quite like a head rush after standing too fast. The die seemed heavier than it should have, or maybe it was the heat wearing on me. Perhaps I was light-headed; the sun did hate me so, and I so hated it in return. Its great heat had drained all of whatever vigor I had once possessed, and I longed to arrive at my destination and be rid of the foul scathing beast. I thought it best to drop the die and be on my way.
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